“Lance could never hang drywall when he was a teenager.”

        Former Employer… glad that I’m in technical support

“I don’t like him. He’s always fixing things that I couldn’t figure out.”

        Disgruntled Competitor

“I dislike him even more since Macs can run Windows 7.”

        PC Consultant concerned that we know Windows.

“He was too attentive and sent me too many flowers.”

        Ex-Girlfriend

“He is so attentive and always brings me flowers.”

        Current Wife

“Oh… he’s really good.”

        Staff at the Genius Bar in an Apple Store.